A Song Toward Freedom
Image credit: Sydney Herron from Unsplash
I’ve been noticing recently how much my heart has grown and changed, yet, she’s stayed very much the same during this season of transition and discernment. When I mean “stay the same,” I don’t mean in a passive, static sense. I mean in the deepest, most authentic sense of self. I’m coming to remember what it feels like to embody my wild, faith-filled, courageous and kind spirit. Over the past year in a plethora of ways, like many of us, my life has turned upside down. I’ve felt hurt, angry, betrayed, and heartbroken. I’ve also found joy, peace, wonder, encouragement and home.
As I begin to re-embrace my true self, a joyful feeling is wrapping itself around me. This past week I’ve been nudged to revisit the very first poem I wrote during my CPE career three and a half years ago. “She soars, my spirit, as I leap” has become a mantra of sorts for me since then, as I learn how to sing a song toward freedom in this poem entitled Learning to fly. This is how my heart has felt over the past couple of weeks as my soul care practices and different opportunities and connections have blessed me. It feels as though through this long, challenging journey of discovery and finding home, I’m starting to truly see and follow the rays of hope and joy that are within my heart and around me lighting my path as I remember that learning to fly is a life-long practice.
Learning to fly
As a new dawn rises I awaken.
Standing tall, my wings are still trembling.
I am uncertain, yet the sky calls me to her.
Boldly, bravely, my spirit sings a song toward freedom. As my wings spread and attempt to find freedom
I fall.
Falling, I can see my fears before me, feeling unsteady
sad
angry. Then...
Open. Peace.
I land softly, and look up toward the sky.
Ready to fly again, I have lift off. Then quickly,
ground.
I am on the ground. Again. What is this feeling?
Anger. Disappointment.
Stuck on the ground, I feel as though I cannot fly.
I am angry.
I cry. My song of anger opens my heart.
I understand myself, and the divine within me, calling me to the sky.
This song envelops my spirit. I must leap and be myself. Be free, and find my joy, my peace, my flock.
She soars, my spirit, as I leap. I am welcomed and belong. Just me. In my broken body, learning to fly, my spirit belongs. She is welcomed, accepted, cherished.
