Rooted+Free
Photo credit: Kayla Mravec
“Renewed by grace./Rooted in me.”
When I wrote this line a few years ago, I had framed both renewed and rooted with spirituality and faith in mind. I’ve come to the awareness that when I wrote this line, it was from an intellectual theological space rather than a lived theological space. Some faint desire to live into this mindset was present. However as life went on, instead of becoming a practice, these words only sat as a poetic line for me.
That is until recently. I was having a conversation with a friend about my job discernment and cerebral palsy that ended up being a conversation about internal narratives. The way my cerebral palsy presents itself, I am extremely independent. There are many day to day things that I can do and have adapted, however one big “normal” thing that I’ve tried but ultimately don’t feel comfortable doing is driving. This is because of the way in which my cerebral palsy effects my depth perception and how I process visual information. I can’t process the visual information from both eyes fast enough for me to feel safe driving because of how quickly surroundings shift when you drive. My way of adapting to this has been to live in places where I have loved ones, walkable neighborhoods and/or reliable public transit.
As my friend and I were talking about my different location and job prospects, I was telling him how “stuck” I often feel because of my non-driver status and the transportation options of different places. In response to this, he empathized with an anecdote from his life, offering that perhaps it’s not necessarily that different life circumstances make us stuck, but rooted where we are and in who we are.
It was then that I realized how my old narrative of being stuck had infiltrated my mind and heart. I’m not stuck in my cerebral palsy, I’m rooted with my cerebral palsy. Because of my cerebral palsy I have a unique opportunity to be rooted in myself: like a strong, peaceful tree growing and blossoming where I am. And, when I am rooted in myself, I can be free in creative, untraditional ways that could encourage others to feel rooted in the moment, in themselves and in their stories.
How might unhelpful internal narratives about yourself be influencing your mindset? What words or phrases could shift your thinking and invite you into a more empowering lived experience?
A breath prayer for feeling rooted:
Inhale: I am rooted.
Exhale: I am free.
